5 Reasons Skyrim is Kind Of Dumb

Posted on May 22, 2012 by

People have been eager to hurtle multiple “Game of the Year” awards to Skyrim, a game that lustily devours critical reception just like its predecessors, Oblivion and Morrowind.

I think that it probably deserves the praise.

But let’s take a step back from the breathtaking world, the amazing sound, and the overall immersive euphoria that the game evokes.

Are we there? Good. No, look away from the radiant waterfalls. Don’t glance at the mountains in the distance that you can definitely climb up.

Close your eyes. Let’s talk about something serious: Skyrim indicates that there are still some things that Bethesda still can’t seem to get right after their fantasy series has gotten three Games of the Years in a row.

I’ve logged the requisite “hundreds of hours” on Morrwind, Oblivion, and Skyrim, so I think I’m qualified to say that there are five reasons that Skyrim is dumb. Not bad, but definitely dumb.

This is something I’ve had to get off my chest for a while. Here goes:

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10 Ways to Not Get Screwed as a Humanities Major

Posted on April 9, 2012 by

Ah, spring. Out on the quad, Frisbees are flying again. Awkward small talk about classes can happen outside, instead of in the dining hall. And, all across campus, tens of thousands of panicked seniors will be hunched over computers, scouring Craigslist for job openings.

Unpaid internships may seem more appealing by the day. Likewise, living at home can be rationalized very quickly, if your parents are anything like the majority of baby boomers.

This is a post for any college grad who can get a job, but is telling themselves that they can’t. Because, above all, you don’t want to become one of the millennials who self-pities themselves into immobility, the ones who have memorized the pie charts from New York Times articles like this one, and simply resign themselves to hopelessness.

Yes, it’s bad out there for college grads, but we’re far from the ones who are most screwed by this economy. After all, we have college degrees… We just have to find out how to use them.

Here are 10 things that can help you find a job, or at least keep you on some semblance of a path, so you can come out of the recession in one piece: Continue reading →

Posted in Essay, Social, The Power of Paint | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Marketocracy

Posted on March 1, 2012 by
Reading Time: ~15 minutes

Imperialism, Anthony Ray thought, was hard. But he quickly corrected himself. The Americans didn’t have imperialism in mind. They were just helping establish a safe and functioning democracy here in the crumbling Nordic Empire.

After all, it had only been a week since the former leader of the empire, Daniel Aalberts, was dredged up from one of the canals. At the time, he had been sopping wet, having been pushed from a houseboat from a traitorous staff member as he desperately set sail down one of the bloated canals, trying to escape.

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Are You a Democrat or Republican?

Posted on February 24, 2012 by

Posted in The Power of Paint | 1 Comment

Slop

Posted on February 22, 2012 by

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Why There Are Pirates in Somalia

Posted on January 28, 2012 by
Reading Time: ~3 minutes

In 1991, a memo was written. It was signed by Larry Summers, who would eventually go on to become the director of the National Economic Council for the Obama administration, where he would mostly ignore Obama’s direct orders to reform banks. At the time of the memo, he was the Chief Economist of the World Bank. The memo was leaked.

While it remains a controversial little piece of paper that just about everyone has disowned, it states something that many developed countries have known for decades: the east coast of Africa is a great spot for dumping nuclear, and otherwise highly toxic, waste.

In fact, it’s also a great spot for illegal fishing, even if you’re actually impinging on another country’s sovereignty and one of its only sources of food. After all, most countries that fish there have plenty of firepower to guard both the ships dumping chemicals into the ocean and the ships fishing out the waters on the coast.

This goes doubly for a country that hasn’t had a functioning government since 1991, like Somalia. Sure, there’s an “interim government” that proudly claims to control 60% of the capital city of Mogadishu, but that’s not really my idea of a functioning government.

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The 3 Reasons All Young Adults Are Liberal

Posted on January 26, 2012 by
Reading Time: ~20 minutes

JobCrater2Last month, I wrote a fairly innocuous piece on my Open Salon blog. To say the least, I was surprised by the waterfall-velocity at which comments flooded the article. At first, I was determined to respond to all of them, but soon gave up. What was the point of responding to a comment if I had to write something that was as long – and took as long – as an actual blog post?

As I pondered the deluge, one sentiment from conservatives struck me: that I was too young to understand the wisdom of conservative ideology. As if my neocortex needs to evolve for another ten years, until finally developing that Personal Responsibility Radar that seems to be a byproduct of age.

As if, given the fact I haven’t paid too much in taxes makes me unqualified to speculate about how our country spends the money. I understand, and sympathize with some of the more burnished conservative talking points. Yes, government could be doing a better job. But could private sector companies be doing a better job than the government? Sure, if you want those jobs done overseas. After all, that was the corporate solution to the Great Recession. And how are the workers at Foxconn?

More like job craters, eh? Hahaha.

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