Help, My Mom Has More Twitter Followers Than Me!

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I’m 23. I’ve used Twitter since September. Coincidentally, my mom started a Twitter account around the same time. Take a gander at the two accounts, if you will. My mom has 194 followers at the time of this writing. I have a measley 82.

My mom has more Twitter followers than me. Me! A tech-savvy millennial who works for an internet marketing company! How has this happened? Am I just not as interesting as she is? Do I have less to say? Or is there something more nefarious at work?

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eBooks: The Future of Writing, Once Everyone Gets Over It

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

When the Kindle first came out, I remember a distinct feeling as my heart sunk into a swamp of pessimism. This is it, I thought. I am an English major, an aspiring novelist, a “writer,” at literally the worst time in American history of the world to be one. In other countries, of course, any time is a bad time.

My friend’s mom owns an independent bookstore, one of those rare and beautiful things that now primarily feasts on the wallets of tourists and upper middle class locals. He frothed at the mouth when Amazon released the Kindle, decrying the institution and talking about how this would essentially murder books and those who try to write them.

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The Three Faces of Facebook

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

I’ve been using Facebook since 2006. I remember eagerly awaiting my college email address so I could make an account, because I had seen a sample account before and it looked like a set dinner table, with all of the silverware and plates and tablecloth carefully laid out. At the time, I just had a clunky, awful Myspace account, which had turned into some overgrown tangle of weeds replete with parasites and viruses, a lumbering beast of spam and pop-ups. Every time I wanted to look at someone else’s page, it was like a freaking jungle safari and the cursor was my machete.

Unfortunately, my newfound VIP access to Facebook was short-lived, because that was the same year that it opened to the rest of the world and any old peasant with a gmail account and the urge to show all of their friends, acquaintances, and strangers their slide-by-slide biography.

When people originally got their Facebooks, there was an unprecedented level of use, but I think it’s boiled down to three different categories nowadays. And here they are:

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No One Cares About Your Company’s Tweets

~Reading Time: 5 minutes

I know you’ve heard the hype. Teenagers are Tweeting each other from their phones. Scratch that. Everyone is Tweeting from their phones, because they all have fancy new smartphones (kinda). Companies are in a panic to follow suit, creating accounts and begging people to follow them.

I think it’s time that someone pointed out that this strategy might be a little effective – particularly for small companies looking to grow public awareness -but, overall, the impact will be minimal. Why? Because it’s all completely over-hyped.

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The Too-True Facebook Conspiracy

Reading Time: ~3 minutes

Let’s pretend it’s a Saturday night and, theoretically, you’re drinking. Then pretend that you wake up the next morning with only a somewhat coherent memory of the night before. You do detective work for the day, finding out what exactly you did or said and (hopefully) learn some lesson pertaining to your drinking limits. The night was bad, you’re embarrassed, but you move on with your life.

Unfortunately, Facebook makes this kind of thing completely impossible. If you were in the presence of anyone armed with a camera, you might start seeing pictures from the night before. Then all of your “friends” can see you pouring a drink on your head or passed out on a couch with marker on your face. Everything you did in your drunken glory is recorded for the benefit of your audience.

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