The Three Faces of Facebook

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

I’ve been using Facebook since 2006. I remember eagerly awaiting my college email address so I could make an account, because I had seen a sample account before and it looked like a set dinner table, with all of the silverware and plates and tablecloth carefully laid out. At the time, I just had a clunky, awful Myspace account, which had turned into some overgrown tangle of weeds replete with parasites and viruses, a lumbering beast of spam and pop-ups. Every time I wanted to look at someone else’s page, it was like a freaking jungle safari and the cursor was my machete.

Unfortunately, my newfound VIP access to Facebook was short-lived, because that was the same year that it opened to the rest of the world and any old peasant with a gmail account and the urge to show all of their friends, acquaintances, and strangers their slide-by-slide biography.

When people originally got their Facebooks, there was an unprecedented level of use, but I think it’s boiled down to three different categories nowadays. And here they are:

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Gen Y: Vanity and Narcissism Through Music?

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

This wasn’t the exact title of the recent New York Times article. It was The Huffington Post-esque “A Generation’s Vanity, Heard Through Lyrics.” Of course, I wasn’t really that upset or offended by the title, I was a little exasperated. I’ve touched on newspapers and their desperate appeal to their vastly middle-aged to older audiences through generational slamming before.

No, I phrased it the way I thought that the title should have been phrased: as a question. A generation’s vanity, heard through lyrics?

So then, I could answer: no. 

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Bachelor’s Degrees: A Dime A Dozen

It was March 2010 and I was sitting in one of the uncomfortable, steel chairs of my college’s study hall, looking at the decomposing scraps of snow on the sidewalks below and tapping my finger like a metronome against the mouse. Every now and then, I would gaze at the cover letter on the screen in front of me.

Why did I want to work at Company X? Well, since infancy, I had dreamed of selling whatever Company X made, or doing whatever Company X wanted me to do. Right. And I vastly admired that Company X did whatever Company X’s website said it did.

After slapping on a custom-tailored resume to my heartfelt letter, I emailed it, straight down to the bottomless wishing well where all my applications seemed to go – dropping down without even a splash.

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No One Cares About Your Company’s Tweets

~Reading Time: 5 minutes

I know you’ve heard the hype. Teenagers are Tweeting each other from their phones. Scratch that. Everyone is Tweeting from their phones, because they all have fancy new smartphones (kinda). Companies are in a panic to follow suit, creating accounts and begging people to follow them.

I think it’s time that someone pointed out that this strategy might be a little effective – particularly for small companies looking to grow public awareness -but, overall, the impact will be minimal. Why? Because it’s all completely over-hyped.

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In Defense of the Man-Child

Reading Time: ~3 minutes

Kay S. Hymowitz planted a landmine of a post (read: publicity stunt for her book) on The Wall Street Journal last month.  “Where Have The Good Men Gone?” claims that a man in his 20s can “live in pig heaven” thanks to revolutionary advancements such as video games, women’s rights, poor social role models, and pornography.

She cites varied evidence for the gender’s laziness, mostly relying on employment statistics and the rate at which women are outearning men when it comes to college degrees (34% vs. 27%). Hymowitz also brings up “Knocked Up” as emblamatic of the times, beacuse it shows a successful woman and stoner-loser-slacker-man-child.

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Generation Generalization: Millennials Are The Same As You

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

It didn’t start with the amazingly anecdotal “What Is It About the Twentysomethings?” published in The New York Times last August – which featured a nauseating collage of scrawny young kids that looked like the results of a 12th grade art project – but this sure as hell made it official.

Don’t get involved, I told myself. It’ll blow over. If you complain, you’ll just make yourself a target and people will use select quotes to validate their impression of angry, entitled, slacker millennials.

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