Cover Letters From the Other Side

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

It wasn’t a long drive to Company X’s building, but it was a complicated one that involved a dubiously legal U turn and toll booths that seemed decorative at best. I also got to tour some of West-Of-Boston’s finest pseduo-highways, resplendent in pothole magnifience.

I remember the first time I felt a twist of dread in my stomach – it was when I saw the building. It did not resemble a wet paper bag with windows, it was a wet paper bag with windows. Of course, to be fair, it had just rained. Otherwise, it would have looked like a plain old paper bag.

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Why Major in Humanities?

Reading Time: ~3 minutes

Last year, when Math majors were struggling with a series  to complete their Senior Thesis, I quietly laughed and wrote another short story. But, a year later, maybe the joke was on me.

Really, I can’t tell. I’ve got a job, so I’m more fortunate than most (since 56% of my class of 2010 wasn’t employed by Spring 2011), but even my fellow Humanities majors who also stumbled onto positions have a similar rallying cry: “Wow, I wish I had majored in Business.”

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Bachelor’s Degrees: A Dime A Dozen

It was March 2010 and I was sitting in one of the uncomfortable, steel chairs of my college’s study hall, looking at the decomposing scraps of snow on the sidewalks below and tapping my finger like a metronome against the mouse. Every now and then, I would gaze at the cover letter on the screen in front of me.

Why did I want to work at Company X? Well, since infancy, I had dreamed of selling whatever Company X made, or doing whatever Company X wanted me to do. Right. And I vastly admired that Company X did whatever Company X’s website said it did.

After slapping on a custom-tailored resume to my heartfelt letter, I emailed it, straight down to the bottomless wishing well where all my applications seemed to go – dropping down without even a splash.

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Generation Generalization: Millennials Are The Same As You

Reading Time: ~5 minutes

It didn’t start with the amazingly anecdotal “What Is It About the Twentysomethings?” published in The New York Times last August – which featured a nauseating collage of scrawny young kids that looked like the results of a 12th grade art project – but this sure as hell made it official.

Don’t get involved, I told myself. It’ll blow over. If you complain, you’ll just make yourself a target and people will use select quotes to validate their impression of angry, entitled, slacker millennials.

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The Too-True Facebook Conspiracy

Reading Time: ~3 minutes

Let’s pretend it’s a Saturday night and, theoretically, you’re drinking. Then pretend that you wake up the next morning with only a somewhat coherent memory of the night before. You do detective work for the day, finding out what exactly you did or said and (hopefully) learn some lesson pertaining to your drinking limits. The night was bad, you’re embarrassed, but you move on with your life.

Unfortunately, Facebook makes this kind of thing completely impossible. If you were in the presence of anyone armed with a camera, you might start seeing pictures from the night before. Then all of your “friends” can see you pouring a drink on your head or passed out on a couch with marker on your face. Everything you did in your drunken glory is recorded for the benefit of your audience.

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